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Dear Journal,

I have looked up past people( mostly from college) just to see hey what are they up too? And yes It can be a buzz killer, not to say, the people suck, but we just go separate ways. I think of why things went the way they did. Not to say we all had falling outs but we just go on our own paths. I sometimes miss them terribly.

(oh but there are people who can go suck an egg)

I do go running from certain people cause lets face it we all can be scared of who/what we used to be. A small few from school remain close to me and I its because we are not defined as 'those people' of AI days.

I see them for who they have become and who they will be. I just need to have around even if its not the same state.

Some times things have a way of coming full circle. I am not who I was yesterday and I am not sure I am even me today, and the hell with tomorrow. All I know is there is a lot of fucking people I come in contact with and I feel a connection to some more than others and it clicks, for what ever reason I need you in my life, and happy to have you.

Be it AI, the bus/shuttle or someones back yard I am happy we talked and I am trilled we still do.

The good, the bad, the sarcastic, the spiteful I need the whole lot of you.


FC and what not (revised)

Dear Journal,

I am an idiot. Why because in my rather hasty( maybe not hasty but me trying to be clever) post to el jay, prior I didn't mention Katze whom is the only reason I am staying at the hotel to begin with and not the stupid motel 6. Thank you Katze.

Secondly I am an idiot cause chances are I won't have my fur suit done like I wanted too. Oh well, I would rather take my time than do a rush job. Thirdly I forgot to mention the drive to FC cause that is half the fun, me freaking out in the car cause well that's what I do.

Are you still with me these revisions can such I know, why I am still an idiot, well cause I am. FC never turns out the way I plan anyway, I mean last year I didn't plan on getting into an argument with Gore in the artist alley but I did.(hey don't feel bad we had wonderful make up well ya'know) and the year before we argued in Katze's hotel bathroom ( the one with the spa)

So I feel foolish for not picking where a fight should take place. So many places I don't know where to start. I think we should try for a fight in the cub house, break all their little hearts, yeah that will do nicely.

I forgot to mention my playing op oration(F.S.A.M.) new game I invented

Plus anyone is up for a game of tampon tag I got'em just need a few more players (uneven teams suck)
Dear Journal,

I have seen the FC meme or what ever you wanna call it, well I usually don't bother with them but this one brings out some relevant information. (Actually most memes have relevant info I just don't like filling out forms I think they have a phobia against them).

Still not going to fill on out just giving the basic need to knows.

Will I be attending FC?
Yes, unless viking pirate ninja monkey-penguins from space kid nap me.

All points aside, here are some fun malice facts for FC 2009, Staying at the Hotel with very special peoples, (not to be confused with people with special needs).

I really haven't hit points of interest yet, if you wanna find me I will be roaming the Con constantly, I like to make laps. I can usually be found will Amsel. I have plans to hang in the creators lounge cause my main squeeze (GORE) is doing his arts there or rather keeping peoples from doing their own arts.

But for some reason you really, really need me, wait at the little coffee starbux stand and soon enough I will be there.

Or if its closed don't fret chances are I am standing out side your room door cause you have a coffee maker.

Wow it might have been easier if I used a meme thing but I love to do things the hard way.
Where was I, oh FC yeah, Arts and what not. I usually don't do arts but give me a roll of duct tape and be amazed.

I do like talking to people and looking forward to seeing all the furs I met last year. (not all the furs I met some are creepy lets face it and if you are reading this its probably not you)

In closing I will be around (tee hee, round) chances are good I will say hello, I am nice( well maybe sort of) I think if you have to say you are nice then chances are you probably aren't. Why convince yourself otherwise like I do. Back to the subject at hand, I will say hello, maybe a hug if I know you and well, hell maybe a hug if you say you know me but I can't remember, and you don't smell like old cheeses.

I took the liberty to bold some main points. Lots of reading and what not and really who has that kind of time.
I am so excited about tonight. Why? Because I am having peoples over. I get to cook and spend time with friends well just hang out. Dinner is nothing fancy but I am so happy because the people we are having over, we always are going to their place. Noname and static are always gracious hosts. Katze makes the best meals in his slow cooker. I am so excited to have them relax and I get to be host. Amsel and get to spend cunt time together.

Well I got to get back to my cleaning.

p.s. i heard the 'beware the blood sucking beavers of bavaria' on Pbs kids. I started laughing and its been on my mind all day.


I was looking online and some how I came across this picture. I don't how many remember popples the toy or the cartoon, but I loved mine. I has the white one with I think yellow hair. I had the most fun throwing it at my sister.


I really really really hate pizza hut

So tonight about 6pm Gore and I decided that food would be a good idea. While SPAM and rice is good I didn't feel up to eating is, let alone cook it. To go out, not go out the possibilities are endless we decided hey lets just have pizza. Now its 6:40 Pizza sound good we don't want mess with traffic. I hop on line go to pizza hut dot com and sign in (cause that's how I order I don't do the phone thing very well).

A window pops up and says hey we can only place your order for carryout no stores in the area does online orders. "That's weird cause I always order my pizza from the hut this way." I think nothing of it.

I'll do it the old fashion way. Luck would have it we just got a new yellow pages. Finally things are starting to go my way. Not so fast which place do I call, there is in my small section of yellow pages six listings. All on streets that run half way through LA. So I am resourceful I go back to the pizza hut page and go to the locations. I do all stuff they ask me, but my fat ass jumping through hoops isn't enough. That stupid window keeps poping up saying can't place the order but now I don't want to order just look up location. It doesn't want to help me.

So now I go to mapquest look up pizza hut locations there. I do the whole find business in my area thing. I get several locations. I go to call the #1 but its not showing me the info I need not on the map or in the side panel half the shit is missing.

I keep my cool go to the number 2. Call guy tells me I am not in his delivery area. We live 2.1 miles away.
Him Culver City me Not his area. but he was nice gives me the number to the hut who is in my area. All is gold.

I call, no answer. Its just about 7.
Call no answer this game goes on for 45 mins. Between calls I goof off on line. My patience is running low. But I really want pizza. So I looked on line for other joints to deliver. No dice. Nothing not papa johns not domino's, nothing.

Gore suggest giving them on last call. They ask more questions, I get put on hold. Lost call. I didn't give up. I call back different person same hoops to jump through. I spend five minuets trying to get the girl to realize I said HILLCREST not Hillcrisp. I even spelled it for her twice.

After that was done she was going to put me on hold cause she had to get her supervisor. He asked cross streets I answered. I answered wrong. Can't delver to me cause I'm not in his area. He recognizes the cross streets(We live less than one mile away) and how close we are and suggest we come in for pick up. But he still can't deliver to us! Not in his area. Now just after 8 pm for those of you keeping track.

I don't blame the guy. Just doin' his job.

I didn't know when Gore and I got this apartment we ventured into the undeliverable zone.

I hope the SPAM can doesn't give me trouble.

i founds arts again

So I have been drawing again lately. I find that I had missed it so much. My intentions were at first to get Gore to draw more. He says he wishes to do it more. So I cleaned off the drafting table and I made use of it. I admittedly am rusty. One problem I am having is coloring. Anything I used to do was in paint or pastels. All my sketches were left as just pencils but I want to color then. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions it would be very useful.

I feel down. Got hurt. Went to work

I was walking in some what tall boots and Ifell, got up took two steps fell again, got up a again and fell for a third time. Like an dumb ass , I worked all day on a sprained ankle plus to top if off a sprained wrist. I should have listened to Eddie the first time when he told me to take off my shoes but I didn't want. And now my ego isn't the only thing thats bruised.

the dephts of ignorance

A small pet peeve that society has inflicted upon me.

As of late it has come to my attention that many people who attempt to converse with me have a very bad habit. This flaw is people tend to say basically in a sentence and proceed to elaborate into an epic. The usage of the term 'basically' is to sum an idea or thought up in as few words as possible. If you are going to use the term 'basically' please do so with thought and intent or at least change it up with a different word. I do not mind the long elaborate and decorated story. It is only when someone actually says basically and then proceeds with the full tale.

Here are few words that can be interchanged with basically-
at heart, essentially, firstly, in essence, in substance, inherently, intrinsically, mostly, primarily, radically.

There now I feel much better.

there isn't enough coffee in my coffee

why is it that people always want more? more more more! greedy bastards. i can't function right now. i have to deal with stupid people who don't deserve an ounce of my time, but i have to none the less. well actually no i don't no one has a gun to my head, but if i want to make that "fat cash" i have to. i just wish there was more coffee in my coffee.